Aug
04
2008
|
By: J Money
|
|
Monday, 04 August 2008 |
|
ESPN the Magazine recently published a story revealing that (gasp!), athlete blogs aren't always written by the actual athletes. Well, that got us thinking...what if some of our favorite sports personalities actually did write their own blogs? Playing the Field found out for you. We bring you When Athletes Blog. Your blogger today: Jeremy Shockey. Monday July 21, 2008 As of this morning, I am officially a New Orleans Sinner Saint.
Good News: I'll be catching more passes and scoring about 600 TDs this season because my new QB isn't ten years old and doesn't spend his summer having Oreo licking contests with his brother.
Bad News: My helmet is decorated with the same logo as the Boy Scouts. I ain't no fuckin' Webelo. I'm going to sketch out some new bad-assier designs and give 'em to Coach Payton. I'm thinking maybe a picture of me carrying a sword and a light saber and riding on the back of a giant bald eagle that has huge blood-soaked fangs and horns. And also an American flag. Posted by Shockey69 at 1:17 P.M.
Tuesday July 22, 2008 Had to turn down an endorsement deal today. I don't care how much coin you offer, how many stores you have, or how nice the sporting goods are, there's no way Jeremy Shockey is gonna be in your commercial saying "I love Dick's". Posted by Shockey69 at 2:49 A.M.
Wednesday July 23, 2008 Drew Brees thought it would be real funny to put a sticker on my car that made it look like he had thrown a football through the windshield. It was NOT funny. When he wasn't paying attention, I threw my car through the windshield of his car. I win. Posted by Shockey69 at 11:19 A.M.
Had to buy a new car. Posted by Shockey69 at 3:21 P.M.
Friday July 25, 2008 Went to the dentist this morning because I had something in my teeth. It turned out to be a live chipmunk. I asked the dude if I could keep it and he asked me to leave. So I did. AFTER nailing his receptionist in one of his adjustable chairs.
Dear Dr. Dentist: You'll probably want to sanitize that little mirror. Posted by Shockey69 at 4:04 P.M.
Saturday July 26, 2008 Why is it totally cool for Smokey the Bear to go shirtless, wear cutoffs, and carry an ax but if I do it, they kick me out of the club? That ain't fair. Posted by Shockey69 at 2:36 A.M.
Coach told me I should probably stay in tonight. So me and my cat, Mr. Sniffles, watched a couple of "Faces of Death" DVDs because that always helps me relax. Then I downloaded some new shit for my iPod--more Danzig, some Cannibal Corpse, Soilwerk, and Jewel. Bitch can turn a phrase. Posted by Shockey69 at 11:18 P.M.
Sunday July 27, 2008 Need to Shockify my new crib so I went to Home Depot to buy some paint. I told the Numbnuts wearing the orange vest that I wanted my walls to look like they'd been basted with the blood of the innocent. He threatened to call store security. Oh boo hoo, you fucking baby. On my way out, I set the garden department on fire. Posted by Shockey69 at 12:52 P.M.
Monday July 28, 2008 First day of Training Camp. Did a little rookie hazing today. I taped Curtis Hamilton to the goal post and taped Adrian Arrington to Martin Gramatica, then I stacked all three of their girlfriends into a pyramid and nailed them all at the same time. It was like Cypress Gardens, but with sex. Posted by Shockey69 at 7:07 P.M.
Wednesday July 30, 2008 Coach told me to pick a Power Animal so that when I'm on the field I can harness its strengths. I made my own animal, a combination of a shark, a monster truck, and Oprah. Because I'm going to live my Best Life, but I'll eat your face and crush your bones before I'll let you live yours, Fucker. Posted by Shockey69 at 10:12 P.M.
Thursday July 31, 2008 Correction. The Wendy's Baconator is my new Power Animal because just like that sandwich, I can make your heart stop, take years off your life, and make you wake up in the middle of the night with knee-buckling diarrhea. Posted by Shockey69 at 3:33 A.M.
Friday August 1, 2008 Visited with a kid from the Make-A-Wish Foundation because his wish was to meet me. I gave him a human skull from my own collection--and signed it!--and explained that asthma was weakness leaving his body. I told his nurse that my wish was to wear her ass like a hat.
I totally tapped it. Posted by Shockey69 at 1:54 P.M. The zinnias are starting to bloom. Finally. Posted by Shockey69 at 9:05 P.M.
Saturday August 2, 2008 Went to a friend's wedding. Boned the bride during the ceremony. Here's a matrimonial tip, dude. If you're going to release doves at the end of the evening, you need to TELL PEOPLE that they're not supposed to shoot them.
Bad News: I'm no longer welcome at Hidden Glen Country Club.
Good News: Dove meat is surprisingly tender. Posted by Shockey69 at 8:24 P.M.
Sunday August 3, 2008 Re-read The Lovely Bones, a haunting story with such beautiful evocative prose. Wept. Posted by Shockey69 at 6:07 P.M.
Monday August 4, 2008 Told Coach Payton that visors look funny on him. He asked what he could do to make it look better and I suggested removing the top of his head. He said I was being obtuse. Whatever. Know what's obtuse? My dick. Posted by Shockey69 at 9:21 A.M.
|
|
Aug
01
2008
|
By: Sarah
|
|
Friday, 01 August 2008 |
|
This weekend is the running of the 83rd Hambletonian. In the tradition of having special guests to hand out the trophy for the $1.5 million purse, the race organizers have invited the US�s most decorated Olympian, swimmer Jenny Thompson to do this year�s honors. We got a chance to chat with Jenny about the race, this year�s Olympics, and (of course) steroids.
So, let�s talk about the race. How did you get involved with the Hambletonian? The Hambletonian has such a great tradition. It�s the largest harness race in the world. Jimmy Cagney�s given the trophy out, and so has George Foreman so I�m really honored to be invited. I love competition, but I don�t really have experience in horse racing. If I�m going to go to one, though, it�s going to be the Hambletonian.
And you know, some of the horses train and recover from injuries by swimming so I can relate.
Is there a specific horse you�re rooting for? I�ll probably be Crazed because he�s from Mass. The favored horse is Deweycheatumnhowe, but Crazed is a close second.
I put my money on Big Brown in the Kentucky Derby, so that worked out for me. Although I bet on another horse in an earlier race named Dr. Jenny who lost.
Yeah, but you always have to bet on yourself� Haha�.yeah. I guess you do.
I want to talk about the Speedo LZR suit. A lot of people feel that the advantage is unfair. A few have even said that using the suit would be similar to doping. Do you agree? Well, to be honest, I don�t know the specifications of the suit. There are rules of FINA [the governing body of swimming] that deal with the suits. Obviously they don�t break the rules or they wouldn�t be allowed.
It�s a matter of technology. Technology happens in every sport. Suits have gotten faster and faster with time. I don�t think it�s anything to get upset about.
Well, Nike has recently announced that they�ll allow their swimmers to wear the Speedo suits.... That happens every single Olympics. Speedo puts way more research into their suits. It�s a great deal for Nike but it�s a really strange setup. It means that Nike can�t hide behind the fact that the fact that their suit isn�t as good.
You were beaten by Zhuang Yong of China in 1992 amid a steroid controversy. A few months later, 9 members of that China team tested positive for steroids. Do you think the system has gotten better since then? I don�t think it�s perfect. I think there are cheaters out there and they are always one step ahead of the testing
I complained in �92 that the gold medalist in my event never got tested. It should have been a given that all medalsits got tested, not just random swimmers. I�m happy that I was able to help change that.
But even with the required testing, there are still ways around it. You�re right, I don�t think the testing is keeping up with the cheating. Pretty soon, cheating is going to evolve into molecular biology and genetics and I don�t think the system is even close to being able to handle that.
I got a chance to talk to Dick Pound of the World Anti-Doping Agency a few months ago, and he admitted that if steroids weren�t against the rules, he wouldn�t have a problem with athletes using them. I thought that was absurd, but as an athlete do you agree with him? I don�t agree with that at all. I�ve done research myself on the effects of steroids. I don�t think that sports, which is something that promotes health and wellness, should allow something that in effect, shortens your life.
Well, one could say that the organic stress some athletes, like football players, put on their body isn�t healthy either. There are a lot of things in sports that aren�t particularly good for you. A lot of sports are allowing their players to use steroids just by way of inaction. They know there�s a problem, but it�s treated as �don�t ask, don�t tell�. It�s being swept under the rug. The Olympics, while not perfect, spend a lot more effort in trying to keep the cheating out of the game.
It would be a sad day if they ever decide to legalize steroids in the Olympics
There�s been a lot of controversy surrounding the Olympics in China. As an Olympian yourself, how do you feel about the IOC handing China the Olympics, knowing China�s social history? What kinds of controversy?
Well, for one, the journalists covering the events will have limited access to certain information on the internet, hindering their research and reporting. And there has also been some concern by the athletes about China�s air quality. That's just the beginning of it. Well, I guess my opinion on that is that it�s a completely different culture that we, as westerners, don�t understand. I don�t think imposing our ways on another culture is right.
As far as the access to information though, no one should be limited to what kind of information they can get. It�s a tough balance, trying to respect their culture while making sure the Games are successful.
That�s kind of what the Olympics is about. It has become a corporate monster. That�s so true. It�s like �We�re going to impose this corporate Olympic monstrosity on your city� and what happens is that city loses its individuality.
That happened with Barcelona. I was there for competion in 1992 but when I went back on my own in 2003, it was a completely different city. There were so many charming things about the city that weren�t seen when the Olympics were there.
Do you have specific plans for when you�re there this year? I�m going to see swimming, of course. And I�m also going to check out some of the volleyball.
I do plan on spending time with Right to Play, an organization I�m involved with. They have presence in hundreds of underdeveloped countries and are bringing sports to kids all around the world. We�re going to have a live auction on Ebay and we�ll be doing some promoting at the games. It makes such a difference to bring sports to kids� lives.
Well, you know you�re always welcome to come back and write about your experiences on our site. Thanks! Actually, that�d be a good way to tell the stories of the kids we meet in these countries.
Awesome. We look forward to hearing about it! Thanks for taking the time to talk. No problem!
|
|
Jul
30
2008
|
By: Sarah
|
|
Wednesday, 30 July 2008 |
In an "our product is clearly getting its ass kicked" moment, Nike has announced it will be allowing their sponsored swimmers to wear the super powered LZR Racer suits made by Speedo in the Olympics. Since the introduction of the suit, swimmers wearing the sleek sheath have been breaking records by the assloads and Nike has clearly realized that sponsoring inevitable losers might not be good for business.
It's a big step for the global monsters who slap their logo on anything they can get their hands on. And while the Speedo name is synonymous with swimming (and fat guys at the beach), you can be sure that Nike has a team in the lab tearing apart the LZR to make a better suit. And always ones to one-up the competition, that one will need three people to get the suit on.
Said a Nike spokesman, "It is about putting their performance and their focus first.". Yeah, and about the chance for Nike to put their swimmers on the podium thanks to their competition's suit.
Speedo is sitting pretty as their competitors panic, file law suits, and liken using the suits to doping . Which isn't a stretch really. You can bet your sweet ass that if cooking down the suits and injecting them into your bloodstream made you a better swimmer, there'd be a needle exchange at the diving board.
What Nike realizes is that it doesn't matter what an athlete wears to win the medal as long as there's a big fat Swoosh on the podium. And the Wheaties box, magazine covers, and billboards that will be surely shoved down our throats.
But remember, it's all about the athletes, right?
|
|
Jul
29
2008
|
By: Sarah
|
|
Tuesday, 29 July 2008 |
By now most of the blogosphere has been subjected to the trainwreck that is Fantasy Sports Girls on FanHouse. Some of our favorite bloggers have voiced their opinions, including this one , this one , and this one . And after looking at the introduction video twice (once in horror, twice in disgust), it's clear that the powers that be at AOL have completely lost touch - and are clearly touching themselves in the process.
Beautiful girls with shapely bodies talking about football? Sexy. Skanky girls with silicone bodies reading cue cards without a clue? Absurd. Now, I'm not going to scream about how offensive this is or how it's degrading to women. Those points are quite clear to anyone with an ounce of common sense. The realization that a major media outlet trying to maintain relevancy in a rapidly changing medium to think that this was a good idea is stunning.
What was great about AOL FanHouse at it's inception was that it toed the line between mainstream media and bloggers. It was one of the first big name outlets to embrace bloggers, and understand that fan driven content was where the sports market was headed. But as other blogs evolved FanHouse stayed static and one by one, those who had their fingers on the pulse of what works left. And now, we have the joke that is Fantasy Sports Girls.
What's sad is that to FanHouse, this wasn't a joke. This was a serious attempt to entertain readers and gain publicity. It got publicity alright, but not the kind that they wanted. I, for one, think it has done irreparable damage.
The thing is, there's room for women in sports. You want to see attractive girls talking about sports and taking themselves seriously? You'll find it here on this site.
|
|
Jul
29
2008
|
By: Sarah
|
|
Tuesday, 29 July 2008 |
Former Rutgers tennis player Jay Kanetkar is mad as hell and he's not going
to take it anymore. The school has spent additional money for women's
sports after cutting other sports programs, in a move that Kanetkar
calls "a complete waste ".
I mean seriously. Why waste money on the women's sports. It's not like
they win or anything . And they cut programs like Heavyweight Crew! I
don't even know what that is, but it sounds cool. I mean, fat guys in a
little boat rowing? I'll take two tickets to that, please.
Kanetkar (who graduated almost 20 years ago) claims that the athletes were commended for their high grade
point averages days before their programs were cut. I can pretty much
tell you how that conversation went. "OK guys, here's the thing. You're
in the fencing program. I think we all know none of you are going pro.
I mean, the WNBA is big time! Let's give those girls a shot, huh?"
Yes, the school has admitted that Title IX played a part in the
decision making, but let's be real. I guarantee you that none of the
programs cut were big money makers for the school. You can't expect to
be handed money by the school if you're not contributing money back.
I'm not a fan of Title IX as a theory, but these programs aren't for
shits and giggles. They exist to bring money to the school and help
increase student enrollment through reputation. I don't think anyone's
choosing to apply to Rutgers to go watch Men's Tennis. Women's fencing however, is a total fan-favorite.
|
|
Jul
29
2008
|
By: Sarah
|
|
Tuesday, 29 July 2008 |
Michelle Wie has been receiving criticism lately from her female colleagues. Again. The criticism? She sucks.
Wie has decided she'd rather play with the boys, even though she's not even good enough to play with the girls. By opting to play in a men's tournament instead of qualifying for the Women's British Open, Wie has cemented her place in Anna Kournakova-like irrelevancy to her sport. With smaller tits.
Anika Sorenstam, who in 2003 was the first woman in 58 years to play with the boys and has 73 career titles, had this to say:
"We have a major this week and, if you can't qualify for a major, I don't see any reason why you should play with the men."
Fellow golfer Helen Alfredsson blames Wie's parents. "I feel sad for her and for the guidance that she seems not to have in the right direction." she said to BBC.
But while it has become trendy to blame creepily overbearing parents for their celebrity kids' failures (David Archuletta, anyone?), at 18, Wie is more than capable of making her own bad choices. And her recent disqualification for forgetting to sign her scorecard shows that she needs to review the basics of her sport before she can even think about competing successfully at a pro level.
It seems that Wie, who has no professional wins, should concentrate on learning to play the game properly before trying to break gender barriers. Not sucking would be a great place to start.
|
|
|