When we first noticed Chris Cooley's accidental exposure, our collective initial reaction was horror. quickly followed by pity. Rather than just post it and laugh (which we did), we at Playing the Field decided to offer Cooley some suggestions as to things we'd rather see between his legs.

"I said, I said...that boy is as strong as an ox,and just about as smart."

Duh nuh. Duh nuh. Duh nuh duh nuh duh nuh duh nuh. 

Did somebody say jaws?

Ah, much better. 

Tickle me!

In case of accidental swallowing, call poison control. 

The cone says Eat Me. We say no thanks. 

The Hogettes are a liiiitle too close to their team, no?

Something a little more, um, Manley maybe?